Uhm. A win doesn’t mean these new lines are good. Just sayin.

So after a relentless beating at the hands of New Jersey on Saturday night, Flyers coach Peter Laviolette decided it was time to shake shit up a bit. Really mess with everyone’s heads.

Well sir, consider your mind games accomplished. Because I am officially head-fucked. Prior to last night’s game in Boston, new lines were announced:

Jeff Carter/Mike Richards/Dan Carcillo
Scott Hartnell/Daniel Briere/Claude Giroux
James van Riemsdyk/Mika Pyorala (or however the fuck you spell his name)/Arron Asham
Riley Cote/John Kalinski/Ian Laperriere

Uh. Um. Ok, I’ll just say it.

Children's authors usually sum things up best.

So let’s review. Richards and Carter are on the same line now. I’m not sure I agree with that, but whatevs, that’s at least debatable. But paired with Carcillo? Really? You’re putting fucking REPTILE on a line with your two best players?

Now you've disappointed the Autobots. Happy now?

This is beyond stupid. So what, anytime Carter and Richards are on the ice, they have to be joined by the fucking human penalty? Has anyone told Coach Laviolette that we aren’t trying to form some kind of ice-fighting squadron? What, exactly, does Reptile do for Carter and Richards? Reptile eats heads. That’s all. Matt Bradley would concur.

Ughughughughughughugh.

And JVR to the third line with Pyorala and Asham just boggles the mind. Despite just now busting out of a slump, he’s one of your top scorers. And you showcase his talents on the third line with glorified scrubs like Pyorala and Asham! AWESOME. I’m sure that’ll help his game develop!

Now, let us not let this entirely overshadow the fact that the Flyers won in impressive fashion last night against the Bruins. Kimmo Timonen scored two goals (including an essentially impossible shot from his own corner) while JVR added one for the first time in 12 contests to give the Flyers a 3-1 victory over their Winter Classic opponents. Brian Boucher again looked (and presumably smelled) terriffic in goal, stopping 26 shots fot a team that entered the evening tied for second-fewest points in the NHL.

Kick that one around in your brain. SECOND-FEWEST. This win was nice and all, but to think it’s anything more than the tiniest of building blocks is excessive. This team needs to continue to hustle and work their balls off under Captain Blood Laviolette. Since we can’t know that’s happened for at least a couple of games, I’m reserving judgment and not getting overly-optimistic on the results of one game out of 82.

Simon Gagne, hurry the fuck back. These lines won’t look like such shit with you healthy. Even though that’s a paradox. It’s OK; we can pretend.  Everyone in Philadelphia is distracted by Roy Halladay’s acquistion and the away-giving of Cliff Lee anyway.

Next Game: Tonight @ Pittsburgh (7 p.m., CSN)

Tags: Christian Ingram, Everyone hates Pittsburgh, excessive references, Philadelphia Flyers, Reptile Carcillo, WTF Phillies?!?!