2: Washington with the longest power play I’ve ever seen. Nine minutes long. Jeeeeebus. Where’s Blair Betts when he’s needed?

3: Fleischman scores for Washington. Caps still have 6:53 remaining on their infinitely-long power play.

4: 20 seconds later, Mike Green beats Ray Emery with a wrister over the shoulder. STILL 6:30 left on the PP. 3-1 Caps.

5: End of first. Flyers down 3-1 & have nearly four minutes of penalty time to kill. Carcillo not at fault, by the way, as noted by @sbaicker

6: @CSNPhilly has Flyers scoring drought ending officially at 172:10. Wow. Almost as long as Peter Jackson’s King Kong.

7: Brooks Laich scored on the PP. Good for my fantasy team, bad for the Orange and Black. 4-1 Caps with 2:00 left on their power play. Ick.

8: The mutant power play for Washington is mercifully over, 17:23 remains. 4-1 Caps.

9: Hartnell and Sloan get dual minors. Dear lord does Scott Hartnell need a haircut. He looks like Snake Plissken if Snake had a jewfro.

10: @sbaicker from your pic, you don’t look like Snake Plissken. But perhaps that’s your ruse. Just to be safe, I’d avoid any shady cabbies

11: Theodore just pulls a serious Mark Reynolds/Adam Dunn on that puck out of the corner. No chance to score, just looked absolutely ridiculous.

12: Caps penalty. Alzner gets two for hooking. The Orange and Black could use a case of tastykakes right about meow.

13: Power play fizzles again. Next payoff jackpot at $400. It’s getting to the point where that annoying PA Lottery guy will have to call the PP

14: Aaaaaand Chris Clark scores just at the end of the penalty for Washington. 5-1 Caps. Emery’s night is over. Boucher in net. THANK. GOD.

15: Backstrom scores on a rebound goal in the slot. 6-1 Caps. This is getting ugly quickly. Aren’t we supposed to be strong defensively? Frownnn

16: @BravesHeart now I know how you felt during Derek Lowe starts.

17: It is a damn good thing Jose Theodore didn’t take up baseball

18: SERIOUSLY? AGAIN? Mike Green joins the rush late and buries one past Boucher. The question now: Can the Caps get TEN tonight? F.Y.L., Flyers

19: Better question: Does Laviolette go all pre-niceness Emilio Estevez in Mighty Ducks? Say it with me: Take the fall! Act hurt! Get indignant!

20: Official gets drilled in the ear. Broadcasters say we shouldn’t cheer the misfortune of others. Fans in the arena wholeheartedly disagree.

21: Tyler Durden feels Auger’s pain. “The ear? Why the ear?”

22: @BroadStHockey given what we’ve seen the last few games, they’d be in no danger

23: Good news: Second period mercifully over. Bad news: There’s still time left for the Capitals to score more. 7-1 at 2nd break. Ouch.

24: @sbaicker I think it’s because there’s better chance at competent play on the ice from them tonight.

25: Hilarious pre-taped Big Mouths segment. Peter, I don’t think the Caps are going to walk away going “wow, those Flyers were tough to play!”